Spencer Kobren and Spencer (Spex) Stevenson speak with a UK caller about how devastating it was for him to first realize he was losing his hair. While society does not “allow” men to discuss how hair loss effects their lives and even seems tolerant of public “bald shaming,” many dealing with hair loss are emotionally struggling in ways those not affected by it can fully understand.

Caller:  The second I noticed that my hair was thinning I was, you know, I was alarmed. I was, I think I just thought, okay, well that's it, I'm losing all my hair, you know. It wasn't to me, it wasn't that hard because there's only a little bit that's missing and you know, nobody had said anything about it. I would look in the mirror and it was clear to me that my hairline had receded and on top my hair was thinner, and I just thought, you know, my Dad has a big, bald spot on his head. I mean, I don't think it looks bad on him. But I just knew I didn't want to have one.

Spencer:  Well, you don't think it looks bad on him because it's him.

Caller: Yeah.

Spencer: Why do you give a shit? It's your father, you know what I mean? You don't want to be the young guy with the bald spot.

Caller: Exactly.

Spex: Tell me, what was interesting there, sorry to cut you off, what was interesting you said how nobody had mentioned anything but how you felt about your hair loss. That's such a poignant comment because the thing is with hair loss, it's such an individual thing. You can, you know, this is why hair loss sufferers suffer in silence because it's their issue. People are going about their own day, daily lives, they're not bothered about somebody else's hair or their hair loss, you know? They don't understand how much it can affect somebody, but because your loss is so minimal they wouldn't have notice it. But because your hair loss is minimal despite you it affected you a great deal. That's the thing about hair loss. It's a very individual thing that can affect our confidence and our self-esteem, which I know it did with you, didn't it?

Caller:  Yeah. I mean, It was terrible. I mean, I always thought, you know, what's the point.

Spex: You're breaking up, man. Are you in your car?

Caller: No, no, no ... Can you hear me now? Is that better?

Spex: Yeah. Absolutely.

Caller: Yeah, I mean, I remember thinking: Oh, Jesus, I can't go out. You know, what girl is going to think of my hair. I remember looking in the mirror and just feeling like any confidence I had was just non-existent and stress at night, you know, like, especially at night just before going to sleep. My sleep would be sort of broken. I know this sounds so extreme, but this is just my personal story.

Spex:  No.

Spencer: No. It's not extreme. I've been doing this show on hair loss for 20 years. Did I dedicate my entire life to the fact that I am unequipped to deal with losing my hair.

Caller: Yup.

Spex: Yeah.

Spencer: I would consider that extreme. Your story is pretty typical.